Born to be the Loner

I have been daydreaming and thinking about random things. I start to think how lonely I am now. Ever since I become an existing to this world, I didn’t know why I am here. I only heard the silence for my whole life. I thought I could make some friends when I finally attended to the elementary school for the first time. I even didn’t know how to pick a right friend. I simply befriended a bad and wrong girl based on my likeness. As I grew older, I made some good friends, yet my friendships with them didn’t last long. I am practically alone. I had a long way to learn about a true friend. I finally understand the meaning of the true friend in the middle of my teenager. I thought it was cool to have many friends, but I realized I truly don’t need that many. Since I began my high school days, the amount of the friendships went down to small one. I stopped to have a best friend. I decided to have a good or closer friend only. I graduated from my high school in 2007, and I became alone again in the community college. I didn’t make a new friend since. I stay at home a lot because my good friends have life to do on their own. Like I say earlier, how much lonely I have been lately. I just realize that I born to be a lonely. That’s why I don’t have a best friend since high school. I have nobody cares about me. I just want to talk to a person about whatever. Although I am used to the loneliness and alone, it is just too much for me to handle. I sometimes fall into a depression without realizing. Having a pen pal does help a little, but it’s not enough. I just want to have a female best friend in person. Hmm… I know I don’t have a best friend as my honor bridesmaid, but who will be? Realize that… I decide that I will have a small wedding ceremony in future. I still wonder who this best friend will be.


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