Born to be the Loner

I have been daydreaming and thinking about random things. I start to think how lonely I am now. Ever since I become an existing to this world, I didn’t know why I am here. I only heard the silence for my whole life. I thought I could make some friends when I finally attended to the elementary school for the first time. I even didn’t know how to pick a right friend. I simply befriended a bad and wrong girl based on my likeness. As I grew older, I made some good friends, yet my friendships with them didn’t last long. I am practically alone. I had a long way to learn about a true friend. I finally understand the meaning of the true friend in the middle of my teenager. I thought it was cool to have many friends, but I realized I truly don’t need that many. Since I began my high school days, the amount of the friendships went down to small one. I stopped to have a best friend. I decided to have a good or closer friend only. I graduated from my high school in 2007, and I became alone again in the community college. I didn’t make a new friend since. I stay at home a lot because my good friends have life to do on their own. Like I say earlier, how much lonely I have been lately. I just realize that I born to be a lonely. That’s why I don’t have a best friend since high school. I have nobody cares about me. I just want to talk to a person about whatever. Although I am used to the loneliness and alone, it is just too much for me to handle. I sometimes fall into a depression without realizing. Having a pen pal does help a little, but it’s not enough. I just want to have a female best friend in person. Hmm… I know I don’t have a best friend as my honor bridesmaid, but who will be? Realize that… I decide that I will have a small wedding ceremony in future. I still wonder who this best friend will be.

December 25 Birthday

Hello, people. I want to look for people whose birthday is on December 25. I’m sure that they are lonely on that day that they can’t have a party with friends. I have been to that. Um, I want to make a Facebook group where I could wish these people a happy birthday on 12/25. I just want to cheer them up a little bit. If you are interesting in this, message me; however, I cannot accept your friend request. My Facebook user name is AnimeFreak88 . Also, can you please spread this blog to your December 25 friends? Thank you.

Valentine’s Day is Coming Soon…

I have been single for years after the ex-boyfriend of two weeks back to my middle school days. I think I should meet a man through my friends… or at a place outside of my home. I will be approaching to my 30s in next few years. I really want to find my true love, but it is difficult to find that kind of love. According to an online article, it says a true love should feel like a zen. I just… kind of don’t get what it means. In my interpretation, that feeling should be calm and connect, which that makes a couple fall in love with each other so hard. I guess that is what I think. That true love should not like to make hearts beat so fast and hard. That love is difficult to understand for us, right? Not until we know what it is.

3 in Morning

You might wonder what people is doing at 3 in morning. Well, I get up at 3:15 AM to get ready for my work at Target. Of course, the outside is so cold due to the fact that the autumn is already here. As I drive, there are not many cars and people on the streets or sidewalk. I did see some lights are on in a home. I even wonder as I ask myself, ‘What is people really doing in an early morning?’ Maybe some folks are unable to sleep well or have an insomnia. I saw a cat walking around  the sidewalk, and I just wanted to say hi to it, but… not really. Not that long after I drive, I finally arrive at my workplace.

Are you sleeping at 3 AM? Can’t sleep properly? What are you truly doing at that hour? Tell me.

Incoming Mail 10-3-2014 and Outgoing Mail 10-4-2014

I get other letter from my good pen pal after last sent by me for a long time. She is so busy to watch her nephew, which is why she didn’t have time to write the reply to me. I wait patiently her mails while I get mails from other pen pals. She is doing well so far. As usual, she sends a handcrafted card. She is into crafts like me. I think we are not experts like these women on Youtube. We are still learning how to do it right.

2014-10-03 21.02.03Her mail also includes the recipe of an angel cake. I’m thanked her.
2014-10-03 21.02.24

That’s my reply to her. I write six pages of medium-sized letter papers. I hope it will receive to her safely.CYMERA_20141003_231139