I am still searching for a happiness. I have been lonely for too long. I even don’t know what my happiness should be. I would like to marry a true love and create beautiful memories with my own family. My life since my birth isn’t best ever I have. I practically hate it. I don’t want to continue to be lonely. I hope to be a good mother because I don’t want to end up like my mom who doesn’t do well with her role of a mother. Maybe I can’t see what is ahead of me. My life currently has no meaning. I want to fill with something in my life.
However, there is something about a marriage. I am afraid of getting divorce, and I’m also afraid to marry a wrong partner. I truly want to stay together with a husband for rest of my life. I want to find my other half. I will continue searching for my own happiness.
I have been daydreaming and thinking about random things. I start to think how lonely I am now. Ever since I become an existing to this world, I didn’t know why I am here. I only heard the silence for my whole life. I thought I could make some friends when I finally attended to the elementary school for the first time. I even didn’t know how to pick a right friend. I simply befriended a bad and wrong girl based on my likeness. As I grew older, I made some good friends, yet my friendships with them didn’t last long. I am practically alone. I had a long way to learn about a true friend. I finally understand the meaning of the true friend in the middle of my teenager. I thought it was cool to have many friends, but I realized I truly don’t need that many. Since I began my high school days, the amount of the friendships went down to small one. I stopped to have a best friend. I decided to have a good or closer friend only. I graduated from my high school in 2007, and I became alone again in the community college. I didn’t make a new friend since. I stay at home a lot because my good friends have life to do on their own. Like I say earlier, how much lonely I have been lately. I just realize that I born to be a lonely. That’s why I don’t have a best friend since high school. I have nobody cares about me. I just want to talk to a person about whatever. Although I am used to the loneliness and alone, it is just too much for me to handle. I sometimes fall into a depression without realizing. Having a pen pal does help a little, but it’s not enough. I just want to have a female best friend in person. Hmm… I know I don’t have a best friend as my honor bridesmaid, but who will be? Realize that… I decide that I will have a small wedding ceremony in future. I still wonder who this best friend will be.
Hello, people. I want to look for people whose birthday is on December 25. I’m sure that they are lonely on that day that they can’t have a party with friends. I have been to that. Um, I want to make a Facebook group where I could wish these people a happy birthday on 12/25. I just want to cheer them up a little bit. If you are interesting in this, message me; however, I cannot accept your friend request. My Facebook user name is AnimeFreak88 . Also, can you please spread this blog to your December 25 friends? Thank you.
I have been single for years after the ex-boyfriend of two weeks back to my middle school days. I think I should meet a man through my friends… or at a place outside of my home. I will be approaching to my 30s in next few years. I really want to find my true love, but it is difficult to find that kind of love. According to an online article, it says a true love should feel like a zen. I just… kind of don’t get what it means. In my interpretation, that feeling should be calm and connect, which that makes a couple fall in love with each other so hard. I guess that is what I think. That true love should not like to make hearts beat so fast and hard. That love is difficult to understand for us, right? Not until we know what it is.
You might wonder what people is doing at 3 in morning. Well, I get up at 3:15 AM to get ready for my work at Target. Of course, the outside is so cold due to the fact that the autumn is already here. As I drive, there are not many cars and people on the streets or sidewalk. I did see some lights are on in a home. I even wonder as I ask myself, ‘What is people really doing in an early morning?’ Maybe some folks are unable to sleep well or have an insomnia. I saw a cat walking around the sidewalk, and I just wanted to say hi to it, but… not really. Not that long after I drive, I finally arrive at my workplace.
Are you sleeping at 3 AM? Can’t sleep properly? What are you truly doing at that hour? Tell me.
As I said earlier, I will post the blog about the outgoing mails. I have sent two mails yesterday and will send one more tomorrow. Um… sorry… I still keep my blog very short as usual. I hope I will get more mails next week. I love to read theirs! Always make me very happy!